Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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