Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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