What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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antijoke is the best website.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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