Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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