Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

Small Penis.

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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