Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Your mother is so fat.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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