civil rights

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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