What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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