Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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