9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Chuck Norris.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops