What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops