Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops