What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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guess what? bannanas

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops