A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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knock knock Goodbye

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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