A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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TOP KEK

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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