Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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poo

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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The cream, it is coming

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops