What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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