What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops