What's long and black The unemployment line

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What's the difference between a duck?

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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