Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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