Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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the WNBA.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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