Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Once upon a time a was born

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops