'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Jordan is pregant

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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