What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

Women's Rights

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

the power to turn magnetism into light

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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