A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Chris is hairy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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