Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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sadf

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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