If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

why was the cat black it was a black cat

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

=3

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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