When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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