My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops