Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops