Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

Black people stink of shite!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

There was a chicken. It squarked.

What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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