A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Yo Mama just died.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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A man was shot. He died.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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