Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

thumb_up thumb_down +6

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops