You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops