What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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