Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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