Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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