A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops