What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops