How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Where's the soap?

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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