Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops