What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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I enjoy Popcorn

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops