Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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