A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Please don't shoot me

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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