Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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