What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down

A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

thumb_up thumb_down

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops