What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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