I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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