What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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WNBA

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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why does the man appear fat he is

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Santa isn't real

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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