Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

Knock Knock. Doors open

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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