A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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