How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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