i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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call me maybe.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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ur an fagit

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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