How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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This is not funny.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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ask me if im a door yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops