What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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