- Anti Joke

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

( . Y . )

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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