What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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joke under this line wins _________________________

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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