You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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