I met a man today. His name was John.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Winking at old people

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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I can't see my forehead

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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