You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Freedom of Speech

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops