what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -47

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

thumb_up thumb_down +52

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops